Family Resources: Kids, Letters

Letters from Kids

From a Kids’ Turn Graduate

It was a normal day. I was researching Yosemite National Park for my national parks report in fourth grade, until I heard my mom sobbing, “You’re leaving your house! At least tell your kids where you’re going!” So I went over there. I saw my dad’s suitcase and my mom’s tears.

It all happened so fast that the next thing I know I was hugging my dad on the couch crying, and then my brothers came in the room and joined us.

Everybody kept on crying and Dad was saying, “Everything will be all right.” But when my mom came in, my brothers and I couldn’t decide if we should hug our mom or our dad.

When I was four I was walking down the hallway. When I saw my parents fighting I got scared I wanted them to stop but I was too confused to talk. Why was this happening just earlier today when we were completely happy? It was a long time ago but that image sticks in my mind like a magnet.

My dad didn’t move out that day, but during the summer after fourth grade, my mom, my brothers and I went to Great America. When we came back Dad wasn’t there.

If people get divorced, why do they marry? Doesn’t it seem pointless? I kind of feel like my dad was giving up on my mom, my brothers and me. That makes me feel really mad, which gives me the urge destroying things. That urge is only stopped by my waning amount of sanity.

From this event I have learned to expect the unexpected, and that things that I have no control over will happen a lot. Kids, be prepared for a heavy blow because it might come. Parents, work out any problems you might have, the consequences of you not working them out could be your kid writing an essay like this about what you did wrong.

Why Should Kids Try Kids’ Turn?

‘The reason why I went to Kids’ Turn is because two years ago my mom and dad got a divorce. Almost every night I would wake and hear them arguing. I would put a pillow over my head so I could not hear them. They would argue about the littlest things. Things that were so stupid that sometimes I would laugh.

Then the arguments got louder, louder and more faithful. That is when I started to get nervous. I heard the words, ‘ this is our last argument.’ Then one night my Dad and I came home from the arcade, the house was empty. There was hardly any furniture. For the first time I saw that my dad was sad. It was a shock to me because I never heard my dad that sad before.

Then I got over it. I went to Kids’ Turn and met a lot of other kids who had gone through the same thing as me. That’s how it helped me.’

What Will Kids’ Turn Do For Kids?

‘This program helped me a lot. When I first got there I thought it wouldn’t help at all, because I thought the program would not heal me from my parents’ divorce. I had a big hole in my heart. I started to feel a big relief. I felt as if a big burden had been lifted from my shoulders. The program helped me, it was like a miracle. Everything was very difficult. Before, I didn’t even feel like doing anything, but now thanks to this program, it has helped me a lot. Thanks, Kids’ Turn.’

Talking to your Parents about the Divorce

Sometimes it’s hard to tell your parents how you feel. You may feel angry, or afraid, or even guilty, thinking you might have caused the divorce (you didn’t). You might think you could hurt your parents’ feelings, or make one of them cry.

It is always best to tell your parents how you feel. They may not be aware that you feel bad about the divorce. They may want to talk to you about it, too. Don’t expect that this will change the divorce situation. It might help with certain parts of it, like when you visit each parent or how much they argue in front of you. It will also help you feel better, and it may help your parents to understand you better.

Here are some ideas that might help:

• You could write them a letter and tell them how you feel.
• You could draw them a picture to tell them how you feel.
• You could ask them to set aside a certain time so that you can talk about the divorce with them.